Hard Truth- Posting about an aired episode of television is not a spoiler. If you don’t want to know what happened, don’t go on the Internet until you watched.
CYCLE 18 INTERLUDE-
I’ve completely hit a brick wall with my ranking. This shit always happens to me. I am just constantly ranking things and then changing my mind. I guess I have writer’s block.
With the conclusion of cycle 18, I’ve decided that I’m going to rank the cycle 18 girls while they’re fresh in my mind. This, like my regular posts, will be based mostly on personality and ~star power~ and modeling may or may not play a role. They actually did manage to choose a good winner this cycle, and the elimination order is mostly fair (with the exception of one AzMarie Livingston) so I won’t be foaming about the mouth about how RAWBED most of the contestants were in favor of some useless bitch.
So, without further ado-
18. Jasmia Robinson
It seems a little unfair to beat a dead horse. She was already the first one eliminated, and now I’m like WORSE OF THE SEASON, but it’s really more about how forgettable she is. First boot doesn’t always equal worst (Kathleen DuJour <333) but Jasmia just had no moments other than ‘Mediocre John Lennon photo. K bai’ so I have no choice but to rank her last.
All the other rankings will be more interesting than this.
Spoiler for #17- Made it overseas.
If ANTM gets canceled after this season, it is 100% Kelly Cuntrone’s fault.
QUEEN ANGELEA PRESTON IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333333333333333333333333333333
125. Isis King
I’ve made it pretty clear that I had no patience for the gross way that Isis was treated by several of the other girls during her cycle… THAT BEING SAID, I’m not really big on Isis. I feel like she was given a sort of weird token edit in cycle 11 but didn’t perform to expectations and then was just sort of around for All-Stars because of her closeness to the Tyra show.
On Isis’ personality-
Isis seems like a completely harmless girl who was extraordinarily courageous. She handled the twat waffles of her cycle with little to no theatrics, and came off looking like the infinitely bigger person when all was said and done. I wish I could say that she did much else of interest to me though. I had a much better time re-reading the dramatic poetry that FourFour made out of her confessionals than I ever did actually watching Isis on-screen.
~Her best shot~
On Isis’ modeling skills-
You knew she was going to run into trouble the second they put her in a bikini. Being a pre-op transgender in skimpy swimwear can’t be an easy task. As a result, her photos suffered from what I assume was extreme self-consciousness. Her very first one, however… is beautiful. She totally does what’s expected of her.
On Isis’ placement-
Her story far eclipses anything she actually did onscreen. Despite being much discussed, she didn’t do anything that drew further attention to herself and, as previously stated, wound up with a kind of bizarre token edit that never escalated to much. As such, she is certainly not a hated contestant of mine, but I can’t in good faith put her higher than those that contributed more to my viewing experience.
Also, it’s worth noting that since completing her gender transformation, Isis is absolutely stunning and if there was a ‘GirlsthatlookmorelikeatrannythanIsisKing’ tumblr page, it would be almost as long as this countdown.
So apparently ANTM is trying to re-invent itself after dismal ratings. The good news is that Nigel Barker is finally gone. The bad news is that Tyra apparently doesn’t realize that she and her ‘smize’ and ‘booty tooch’ are the real problem here. The show won’t improve until they get a real host who actually knows fashion.
Why the fuck would you bottom 2 Kyle and eliminate AzMarie and then get rid of Kyle a week later?! THIS SHOW IS POINTLESS.
drunken rant over.
I’m sort of tired of the borewhore slaughter currently taking place on the countdown, so I’m going to do a post about a random photo-shoot from a past cycle and hope it inspires me.
~Cycle 12 Paint Photos~
1. Celia
Flawless, perfect, etc. It has taken quite a bit of time to fully appreciate this shot… I used to be an undying fan of Fo’s picture but this has such a quiet vulnerability and I want to die over how that gray makes her eyes pop.
Also, this was the week that the judges bottom 2’d her for calling Tahlia out for being wishy washy -________-
2. Fo
It’s a little bit… obvious. Like, red paint= GRRRR. It’s like textbook ‘ANTM fierce’ in that it’s not a legitimate fashion picture but it’s the kind of thing that Tyra and Co eat with a spoon.
3. Teyona
Probably STILL an unpopular opinion thanks to Tyra’s idiotic comments about the Obamas hanging this in their house… I mean, COME ON. You know the First Lady thinks Super Smize is dumb as shit. But this picture is absolutely luminous. The yellow paint on her skin is to die for.
4. Tahlia
-_____________________________- This is the one time I will give her credit for ANYTHING.
5. Allison
I love her bunny teeth <3333 This used to be a top 3 shot for me but it’s lost something for me slightly because it doesn’t really make me think of a single emotion or feeling. She looks cute and kind of creepy, as per usual, but it doesn’t encapsulate a mood.
6. Miss. California Natalie Pack
Spoiler alert… I’m going to call her this from now on, and if she wins Miss America… you better believe it. This picture has always reminded me of Sasha Grey, if Sasha Grey had a seriously enormous round face. Seriously, I never noticed Natalie having a huge head until this picture and now it’s pretty much all I can see.
7. Aminat
Another big drop… I’m crazy about the green and her skin but her eyes have NOTHING going on behind them. This picture is basically like modelesque duck face.
8. Sandra
I honestly think she’s trying to look cute despite the fact that she practically has semen on her face.
9. London
This looks like she had an unfortunate ejaculation incident with a Smurf. It’s downright awful. At least Sandra is smiling.
